I know I need to breath stop telling me to

asth·ma

ˈazmə

noun

1. a respiratory condition marked by spasms in the bronchi of the lungs, causing difficulty in breathing. It usually results from an allergic reaction or other forms of hypersensitivity.

An asthma attack, in short, you can't breath. Longer explanation, a persons airway is inflamed and in turn they experience

• shortness of breath
• tightness in the chest
• wheezing and
• coughing

There are various typed of asthma, some people have light asthma, some because of allergies, some heavy that interferes with their daily lives, and some sports induced.

I have sports induced asthma, and its not excessively bad.

Story time! Around fifth to seventh grade (I honestly dont even remember) my coach, for conditioning would make us sprint around the field and then do more sprints. It honestly wasn't even bad, but all I remember is that is was extremely cold but my throat was burning and I was running then it went black for a little. From what I remember, I then of course started panicking so I really couldn't breath and yada yada yada. Either way, I collapsed, it didn't relapse for a while, my mom didn't think anything of it. Later it came back and my mom still didn't think anything of it until some parent said I wasn't exactly breathing right.

I mean but its not excessively bad unless you consider the fact that I have an inhaler that I take twice a day, that is literally steroids and on top of that an inhaler I take before I exercise, twice if necessary. Take that into consideration, and then be aware that I still have asthma attacks on a semi-regular basis.

Anyway, I really don't have any problems joking about it. I think its really embarrassing honestly, but its funny. Its not like I can help it- I mean look I'm on two inhalers and my lungs still don't function right. People take it to seriously. Also, if it's in the middle of a soccer game, chances are I've already taken my inhaler twice- before the game and at halftime. Lets not force more drugs down my lungs because I don't know what'll happen but I do know I'm not supposed to. The thought is good however, and yes you should try to give the asthmatic person their inhaler if they're having an asthma attack.

Another thing, don't tell us to """just breath""". I'm not sure what you were thinking honestly. Does it look like I'm purposely trying to choke myself?

I.
Can't. 
That's what asthma is.

I'm kinda trying, that's why I sound like a dying horse. """Just breath""" You say it like it's easy.  One of my coaches got really good at dealing with my outbreaks, because here's how it would go.

1. I would either run faster than my lungs could keep up
2. Or get the wind knocked out of me by an opposing force ( Getting cloths-lined sucks )
3. I stop, hands on my head, try walking, get dizzy
4. If it doesn't get better after a minute I start to panic
5. Start freaking out and hyperventilate
6. *Cry at one point and hyperventilate harder probably*

(* Not a consistent step, as is the fourth and fifth steps*)

So first off, don't tell me to """just breath""" because I'm trying and you're not helping. Don't try to talk to me either, I can't breath therefore I can't talk. Surprise! (Sarcasm aside, people always talk to me when I'm talking my inhaler. I'm supposed to hold my breath so I can't exactly talk then either, golly who would've thought.) So based on how my coach helped me, here's my mini guide to helping people breath!

• Don't panic- your panic makes us panic (it doesn't, but it does make you kind of useless) 
• Give them their inhaler
• Move them from any people or confined areas, or animals causing their airways to inflame 
• Ask them, yes or no if they need to go to the hospital
• Tell them, when they're ready, to take in a deep breath and hold it and also when they're ready, to release it
• Repeat

Things to note; the first few deep breaths will not be deep- let them calm down a bit, most people with asthma know how to deal with it so you might not even need to do anything other than give them their inhaler, yes we can possibly die- no I don't believe its likely but each to their own.

Personal notes; no, I'm not taking drugs I can let you 'hit up' when I take my inhaler. No, the fact that my inhaler has steroids has nothing to do with the fact that I'm fast, and can kick well-stop asking. Yes I will run even if I'm wheezing until I literally can't breath, I run through my attacks sometimes I know what I'm doing.
The only time I have an asthma attack when I'm not running is when I cry to hard and hyperventilate and it goes downhill from there. Yes there are times while at rest I will comment saying it's kind of hard to breath, it is not an asthma attack.
Yes I understand- my asthma attacks are so scary. for you. Yes. Even though I've had and recovered from asthma attacks while you were there, multiple times. No, it won't stop me from joking about it- I think its funny. I'm not dead yet.

And stop telling me to just breath, I'm trying.

Tattoos Last Forever

That's a bit obvious, don't ya think? Also I think that's the point.

" I want so many tattoos-
"Oh no you don't. "

The amount of times I have been interrupted by someone telling what I apparently don't want. I don't understand, " People won't hire you if you have tattoos", but why not? I understand, some things people stick on their bodies are not in any way appropriate. I understand that. But why wouldn't someone hire me if I have a watercolor skyline going around my wrist or my arm.

Come on, even solid black I think thats pretty great, but make it a watercolor and man oh man I would love that to wrap around my ankle or something.

Ok, back to the point that some people get really, really stupid things tattoo'd on themselves. ( I tried to find an appropriate example. Appropriate is the key word, some people really need to rethink their life decisions) But consider the people who just want art on their bodies- really those people are the main focus of this. Why should they be denied anything because of that? Or really why are people so quick to judge people with tattoos and piercings. 

"Tattoos will look disgusting when your old and wrinkly"
Go ahead and keep telling me how I'm gonna look when I'm old and wrinkly, and then go and tell me how much I'll actually care when I'm old and wrinkly. At least I'll know that I don't regret not getting a tattoo. I always see that teenager post thing- " You won't remember the nights you got plenty of sleep ". I mean- it's kind of the same right? If you get a tattoo, you won't remember all the times everyone tried to tell you that you don't want one right? You'll remember when you finally made that decision, finally went through with it.

( I don't know, it's just a picture but I think they are fine with their tattoos )

( I don't think this dad will regret anything in 20 or 30 years )

Tattoo's are amazing, I read about a women who got a third degree burn on her face as a child and with countless surgeries couldn't quite get it covered up. So she tattoo'd her face with her skin tone, and bam. Don't even notice at a glance. I read about someone else with a tattoo, her parent's handwriting with the words ' I love you '. I read about a father who got the wavelength of his deceased son's laugh tattoo'd on him. I saw on a show, breast cancer survivors getting tattoo's over their breast. You can't tell me that tattoos are pointless when those exist. Even with the meaningful tattoo's out there, tattoo's can be magnificent work's of art.

Also fun fact, my lola tattoo'd eyeliner on her eyelids. Just so she wouldn't have to put on eyeliner. It's been a few years, and I'm still not sure how I feel about that, but I know I shouldn't mess with her if she get her eyelids tattoo'd.

But lets look at the facts, my pain tolerance is so low I probably won't even get a tattoo despite the fact that I would like quite a few. Either way, stop telling me I don't want a tattoo. I'm pretty sick of it, that's not going to suddenly change the fact that I do.

" You Changed. "

Did I? Really? I would've never guessed.

I hate hearing that phrase, reuniting with friends from before high school. Who in all honesty, expects someone to remain the exact same from their childhood. People grow, experience things, mainly grow. Their personality grows, they physically grow. I mean look at it this way, do you still expect to see me behind the counter chugging a syrup bottle? ( I mean come on, that's disgusting. No one wants to see that. )

Either way, what do you want to hear when you state that?

" You changed. "

Is that bad? Am I a despicable waste of space based upon impression? Is it good? Do you not know what to say so you're saying pointless things? Are you going to say anything else? I'm left with to many questions, to many to ask at once.

" Did I? " ( Come on. You know you did. )

" Yea I know. "

" So did you! "

Seriously.

" No!! I totally thought I was still four feet tall. "

Rreally I don't even know why this is still a thing. I have no words, like I know I changed, lets not talk about what way. Give it a couple more years, middle school will be funny but right now that's just. You know. Embarrassing. Its not even a good conversation starter, it's not interesting or anything you're just stating a fact. Yes I understand you're surprised at how different I am but think about it, you changed too. If all we're going to do is sit here and talk about how we've changed, I'll pass. There's no real good reason to re-live the past when we're living in the present.

I'm a bit bitter about this because no, I don't like the person I was when I was younger and I would really rather not talk about it but still. What's the point in saying that?

Whats your balance?

I am the second of four sisters in my family.

My older sister is a talented artist, or I would say so. She attends an art school as well as interning at a comic studio, and has sold her personal art at comic con in the previous year. I aspire to be a photographer, whether or not I'm good at it is an opinion. Also, I play soccer and I would hope I am at least decent at that. My younger sister is book smart. Her last progress report her lowest grade was a 95%, and she's been like that since kindergarten. I don't remember her ever getting a B in a class if I'm completely honest. Like me, she also plays premiere soccer, and I would say she is skilled. My youngest sister is a jack of many trades. Currently she and my eldest sister are red belts in tae kwon doe, though now she has to balance that with dance. Hip-hop, ballet, contemporary and I think jazz at one point. She used to be really into bowling, and before that she tried soccer. Now, she really wants to get into volleyball. As if there wasn't enough activates she was devoted to.

When I explain this to anyone really, one comment that normally comes up is
"Wow. Your family is really talented".
Talent, yea sure part of it. But 'talent' isn't just it- we work for it. But that's not the topic. I think everyone has something they're good at, likewise I think everyone has something they're bad at to counter. It's a bit of a balance. Like physics see, for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction. Kind of like that. Either way, as quoted from Rise of the Guardians-

" What is your center? " 

My sisters and I, the things we're good at happen to be activities but personal things about a person could count as that something you're good at, in my opinion. Such as-

• Confidence

People who are confident in themselves can do so much without a sliver of effort. Being confident is very good for your mental health as well as your image or how you portray yourself to other people. It's a good thing, really. Most people lack confidence.

• Likeability

I literally see no fault in this unless you don't like people and would rather be isolated, in that case my apologies.

• An Animal Person

People who are naturally good with animals are a bit of a wonder as I am not one of them. Animals are very comforting too, it's a win-win for you.

• Green Thumb

It's a cool thing really, I could see how people could assume otherwise and tag it as 'useless' but seriously. How is that not cool if you could grow flowers or like an orange tree than wow.

• Natural Cook

I have literally set my stove on fire before, (don't even ask) I envy you. Also people who can cook or bake well always make friends easily, based on personal experience.

• Listeners

Everyone needs someone to listen. This is such a great trait- don't ever think otherwise. Not only that but in class verbal learners probably do well with those teachers that write absolutely nothing.

• Writers

Poets, literature, speeches. Generally people who have a way with words that many people don't. People who you could listen to for hours, read their works forever. Some people work towards it, some people are naturals either way it's an entrancing talent or skill that will stay with you forever.

• Manipulators?

I mean, its useful. Maybe not morally correct but then again how much is in this world. If you could pull off what Iago from Othello is doing, respect. But also please use your talents for good.


The list is endless. Maybe you don't know what your talent- your 'center' is but really that's fine. You don't even need to know honestly. It's there. You don't have just one good trait about you either of course. But it's literally apart of your personal being. It's what you do with it that counts.

Shh..

You are a normal teenager, You have a friend. You're not best friends, but not an acquaintance like friend, in between really- good friends. You're good friends. You're talking to said friend, maybe on the phone, Maybe texting, maybe through social media 'dms'. Either way, you're talking. You've been talking for a while and then they say something in particular. 'can I tell you something?' You stare, it takes a second. Oh- its a secret. You say sure. They tell you ' but dont tell anyone I did that '. It would cause an uproar at school, your’re a bit shocked they did that. So you agreed. Of course you won’t. Except for your best friend, but you know. They don't count. You both tell each other everything. So its fine.

Right?

Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won't. This is what love is.

 Okay, you'll admit you care for your friend. You acknowledge the secret is dangerous in some form. You're not trying to destroy them- how extreme is that? Ridiculous. You know your best friend won't tell anyone. Besides, you already told them.

Lets make a chart. We'll give everyone names, your name will be Jamie. That's fine right? Of course it is. Your good friend is Jean, and your best friend is Nicky. Nicky has another friend who is around that good friend-best friend level who is generally addressed as Lar (you thought that was a weird nickname). Lar is very confrontational, and likes to know everything about everyone. They're nosy. Very. Very nosy. So here is your chart-

The line is the secret, the secret Jean told YOU, and where it traveled. That is right, it ended right where it started. 

Your communication with Jean has decreased significantly over the past couple weeks,  You miss Jean. You both had a good thing going. You thought they liked being your friend. 

...

Your name is Jean. A couple weeks ago, you told your good friend acquaintance Jamie a secret. Practically everyone has been asking you about it since Lar started asking. You messed up, you know that. It was a one time thing. You wanted to complain a little since your parents were bagging on you for being ' a horrible child ' and claiming you did it because ' you hate them '. You don’t hate them. You can’t for sure say the same for them, not after you did that. You didn't have a lot of friends to begin with, now everyone who isn't asking ' did you actually- ' avoids you giving you dirty looks. Your family thinks good for nothing and now nothing is going right. You were already having a tough time dealing with your family, but high school is brutal now too. It didn’t have to be, if you just didn’t tell Jamie… You thought you both were really good friends, you thought Jamie liked you. Guess not.

This is what I generally think about whenever people in general gossip. Of course it wouldn't go from Lar straight to Jean, and there would be plenty more people who were told along the way. It's pretty simplified though I feel the point is still there- everyone has that one best friend who 'doesn't count' and eventually everyone knows. You may think someone is stupid for doing whatever they did, but you don't know why they did it or what they may be now going through. The point is, if someone tells you to not tell anyone- dont tell anyone.